Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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