is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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