Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
