The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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