Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
