I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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