I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i've created a new STD.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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