Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize