I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
