Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
