She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
