Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
