I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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