Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
