Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
