just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
