Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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