Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i was born a porn star she said
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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