Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm passing your future prison.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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