you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
