i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
