I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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