if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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