Since when is my name a synonym for head?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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