I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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