theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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