your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
