Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
