69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
