So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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