North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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