if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
