You really coming over, don't trick.
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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