If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
