so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
love makes seman taste better
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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