ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
