I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
