the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
