i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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