is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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