remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
