I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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