I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize