i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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