her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My ATM looks so different sober.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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