Dual....:-)
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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