This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
