She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
NoShamevember. You game?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
