AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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