There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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