who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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