Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
