the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I love how my cats smell like pot.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
