sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
