she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
