I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
