idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
