my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
