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so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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