I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
