What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
